To pay homage to (i.e., copy) Wysz’s Christmas blog post series just this once, here is one of my favorite Christmas songs:

I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas

I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
Only a hippopotamus will do
Don’t want a doll, no dinky Tinker Toy
I want a hippopotamus to play with and enjoy

I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
I don’t think Santa Claus will mind, do you?
He won’t have to use our dirty chimney flue
Just bring him through the front door, that’s the easy thing to do

I can see me now on Christmas morning, creeping down the stairs
Oh what joy and what surprise when I open up my eyes
To see a hippo hero standing there

I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
Only a hippopotamus will do
No crocodiles, no rhinoceroses
I only like hippopotamuses
And hippopotamuses like me too

Mom says the hippo would eat me up, but then
Teacher says a hippo is a vegetarian

There’s lots of room for him in our two-car garage
I’d feed him there and wash him there and give him his massage
I can see me now on Christmas morning, creeping down the stairs
Oh what joy and what surprise when I open up my eyes
To see a hippo hero standing there

I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
Only a hippopotamus will do
No crocodiles or rhinoceroseses
I only like hippopotamuseses
And hippopotamuses like me too!

I’m really feeling the flow on this one.

Allow me to share one of my current guilty pop pleasures: “No Air” by Jordin Sparks featuring Chris Brown (YouTube embedding disabled…boooo). It’s nice to see another American Idol graduate done good. I heard it on the radio on my drive home today and thought of an alternative “artistic” video theme. An empty helium tank and a deflated balloon. That’s it. Or maybe there would be one scene where you see many happy, filled-up balloons floating into the sky, and then this deflated one that is tossed into the air…only to fall miserably back to the ground. But I suppose my idea wouldn’t fly for 4 minutes and 50 seconds. People would probably get bored. Maybe people have even stopped reading this blog post by now. Sheesh…I blame the internet for killing our attention spans.

Mmback from a pretty relaxing, overall good time at Keuka Lake in New York. I’m happy to report only one bug bite. Highlights would include an Amish horse and buggy spotting, Crossbill the feisty duck, a very loud potato gun, a pretty hike, boys being boys, and charming wine tasting establishments:

http://www.mcgregorwinery.com

http://www.ravineswinecellars.com

http://www.keukaspringwinery.com

I let the pictures do the rest of the talking.

Also, it was my first time taking JetBlue, which was pretty coo. Five hours in the air ain’t nuttin’ when you got a Man vs. Wild marathon on. Poor Bear got stung by a bee in one of them–hate to see him less than handsome. There is also XM Radio (including hits by Justin Timberlak and Everything But T). They also serve aminal crackers. And they use Google Maps to track the flight. It is kind of weird how they set their flight times. My flight to Rochester from JFK left an hour late, but managed to arrive a few minutes early–not that I’m complaining. But maybe that is just their way of ensuring on-time arrivals.

So I was at Target today when over the loud speaker, I hear:

Attention, Target employees. Get ready for the blitz…get ready for the blitz.

Blog-worthy? No? K, sorry.

Anyway, I’m a stupid tired bitch right now (parse that however you like). Next week I’m off to Keuka Lake, where I probably won’t have internet access and cell phone reception might be poo…but maybe this is a good thing.

I am a little sad I won’t be here to witness Nelly’s triumphant return like everyone else. Welcome back, Nelly! And here’s to wine and mosquitoes. Byee.

I just confirmed with my sister’s girlfriend that their dentist’s nephew is Kevin Tan, a member of the Men’s Gymnastics Team for USA. So he messed up a little bit on the pommel horse, but he still helped them clinch the bronze medal (not bad for an entire team of first-time Olympians). And I believe an intern at my previous job was friends with Natalie Coughlin at UC Berkeley, proven ass kicker on the US Swim Team. So basically, I know them.

Before I begin, I just want to let my non-Californian peeps know (before you tell me I suck) that I understand your complaints may stem from being in a place you wouldn’t call home–you can’t help but compare the familiar with the unfamiliar, the logical with the stupid. And perhaps there is an underlying longing to be back home and to connect with other non-Californians who share this sentiment for comfort. Much respect.

<rant>

Everything is expensive.
Yes, we know. Thanks. We don’t enjoy it either. I know some peeps in Dublin who will gladly tell you to shut up.

There are no seasons.
Again, this is probably your desire for the familiar from your childhood back in non-California. I’m sorry the fall leaves here aren’t colorful enough for you. You can go to the mountains during winter to at least get your snow fix. But please, don’t take our sunshine for granted. I know some peeps in Dublin who will gladly tell you to shut up.

People don’t know how to drive here.
I am probably overgeneralizing, but I think if you drive around anywhere long enough, you will find shitty drivers. And if you live in a major city in California, here is my amateur sociological observation:

Abundance of job opportunities = Population growth (including people migrating from non-California) = More traffic = More shitty drivers

However, if you’re talking specifically about how Californians can’t drive in the rain, then yes, I agree with you completely–particularly in SoCal.

</rant>

That’s my 2 cents. Thank you and have a great day in the Golden State.

Funny how weekends just fill themselves up sometimes. I finally went to Great America for the first time after having been here in the Bay Area for…jeebus…almost 4 1/2 years now? I went with Ryan and some of his peeps. One of his friends, a San Jose native, says it’s not what it used to be–hence, the not-so-bad lines. And the pulling out of shiny Paramount left otherwise pretty fun rides with lackluster names, such as Flight Deck (previously called Top Gun). Not that I really mind, but uhh, something to say in a blog entry=). The day was hot, but we managed to jump on a couple slides at Boomerang Bay to cool off for a bit (required me to purchase a pair of board shorts at the park because–surprise surprise–I was wearing jeans). Invertigo was my favorite ride. Drop Tower Scream Zone scared the poop out of me…twice. Good times indeedy.

On sort of a whim, I headed down to the Gilroy Garlic Festival Sunday with almost the same Saturday crowd, minus a couple. I’d have to say the Garlic Festival is probably something you should go to once…or not. The hour-plus traffic just to get there had us second-guessing our decision to go at all. Then there was the ridiculous $12 just to get in. It was hot and crowded and dusty. The food was tasty, I have to say–of course, also fair-expensive. I had a deep fried fish taco, tried a bit of Ryan’s garlic shaved ice, and crab garlic fries. Missed out on the free garlic ice cream because the ridiculously long line scared me away. We went to a cooking demo, where they whipped up garlic fried calamari. Unfortunately, it was a look-smell-but-don’t-eat kind of deal. Boo. Kyle, our fearless-but-frustrated driver, felt the festival somewhat redeemed itself, as he found a Slash-looking leather hat that fit his noggin quite handsomely. All in all, I thought the festival was still fun. Oh, how the garlic lingers…

Yesterday I played croquet. Good times, but I managed to re-injure my wrist (I blame my wrist for me being the poorest player, of course=). Fortunately, I still have the magic cast I used to wear overnight, which healed it last time in a matter of weeks. I figure if I wear it again, it will heal in a matter of days, hopefully. I was going to go kiting, but probably a stupid idea with the wonky wrist. Hmm, working on my laptop is probably not the best thing for my wrist either.

Friday I saw Coldplay. I guess I’m not a big fan of in-between-song banter, so I didn’t really notice that they didn’t talk very much with the crowd like Koko did. As already blogged by Koko and Reid, they definitely put on a good show. Neat laser lights always help too. And I didn’t mind Chris Martin’s stumble-dancing stage antics. I was particularly impressed/amused when he kind of rolled upside down and didn’t miss a beat singing the song.

Oh, and I finally put up a blog disclaimer. Now I can say anything I want…bitches.

Matt’s Jitterbug post reminded me of another top-notch product I had a conversation with some co-workers about last week: Flowbee. Basically, Flowbee is a vacuum attachment you can use to suck and cut your hair. It was advertised via one of those infomercials I would watch as a kid over and over again simply because it was on…and what a neat idea the product was. And then somewhere along the way, I learned to question the quality of infomercial products, and the magic was forever lost…but infomercials can still be quite entertaining. Unfortunately, my co-workers and I were unable to find the original Flowbee infomercial online. We did, however, find a plethora of Youtube videos of people attempting to Flowbee their hair off. So no need for you take the plunge. Others have done it for you. Oh, and the Flowbee was invented by a carpenter from San Diego. So very proud.